Is Starting Over (Im)Possible?

We've all be there.  And if you're sitting there saying you haven't been, give it time, you will be.  I have yet to met a single weight loss surgery patient who hasn't pushed the limits of their new pouches, who haven't cheated or just plain given up on their diet.  I will be the first to admit I have fallen completely off the wagon...like bad.  Restricted diet?  What's that?  Is that something I'm supposed to be doing 7 years post-op?

Who remembers the complete and total bliss of not feeling hungry after surgery?  Who else remembers the excitement of actually wanting to get on the scale because you knew you had lost weight?  And remember how much fun it was to go shopping for a new pair of jean because you were buying a smaller size?  Ahhhh....the good old days of weight loss euphoria.

But on the flip side, who remembers the first time you got food stuck?  OUCH!  Or that time your pouch decided it didn't like a food that it liked the day before?  OUCH!  Or when your whole body hurt and you used to be able to pop a couple of ibuprofen and make the pain go away....does Tylenol even do anything or help with pain?

When you decided to have weight loss surgery, you decided to take the good with the bad.  Hoping, praying there would be more good times than bad and for most people the good times far outshine the bad.  We wouldn't have decided to have this surgery if we hadn't thought it would be worth it, right?  So what changed?  Where did things go wrong?  Where did you turn left instead of right?

You know what happened?  You're human.  I'm human.  I am a perfect example of what happens when you think you have a handle on things.  I think I have a handle on my diet so I can start eating things I know I shouldn't, but damn it, I just want to have it.  I think I can have more than one beer in 24 hours because damn it, I want it!  I can eat out more often, it's okay, because I'm not eating as much (lies, lies, lies), but damn it, I want to be normal!

But what is normal?  Normal is defined as conforming to a standard: usual, typical, or expected.  I don't know about you, but I signed away my definition of normal at about 6:30am October 5, 2010 when I checked into the hospital to have weight loss surgery.  We no longer have the typical definition of normal.  We have new definitions and they are anything BUT normal.  We have taken everything we have ever known when it comes to food and eating: mixed it up, moved it around, rearranged it, spit it back out and here we are...some of us are fractions of the person we were before.  Some of us (me) are a bit fluffier than what we would like to be, which brings me back to my post title, do you think starting over is (im)possible?  I know I've said many different times that I've had it and that I'm starting my diet...again.  No exceptions!  I jump in head first, hardcore and then I bottom out and fail.  Every.Single.Time.  When am I going to learn?  I didn't gain all of my weight overnight, it's not going to come off overnight.  Every time I start over full force it feels so overwhelming, I get so discouraged, I end up giving up.  

This time I have decided to take on this task a couple steps at a time.  My first step?  Giving up soda FOR GOOD.  I'm very good about giving it up for a week or two, but then the weekend comes along and I sneak one in.  Not anymore.  Today is one week soda free.  My next step?  Picking a healthier morning snack.  Every day at work at about 11am or so, I would get hungry so I would snack on either some crackers or chips.  Not anymore.  My new snack?  Oikos Yogurt if I'm even feeling hungry.  Up next?  Logging food.  Man, I hate, hate, HATE logging my food, but it keeps me accountable.  And last but not least that I actually just started doing today is adding a handful (which is about 1 cup) of fresh raw spinach to my morning protein shake.  I know it sounds weird and I was very doubtful, but I'm telling you, you can't taste it and it only adds 7 calories to your shake.  7...that's it!  7 little calories and you have a simple serving of your veggies in.  

So, see...as of May 29 2017, it is possible to start over.  You can start over too, you just need to find out what is going to work for you.  Some people do better if they jump in head first, but after numerous attempts, I've found I'm failing.  I'm going to focus on making good, solid changes and work my way from there.  I can do this.  WE can do this.  We didn't come this far for nothing! 

Until next time!

So, I Purchased A Scale And I've Lost.....

One of the hardest things about getting back on track besides walking thru my surgeon's office door was getting the on the scale and seeing how much weight I had gained.  I hadn't stepped on a scale in probably over a year.  When my scale broke, I never replaced it.  HUGE mistake!  

When I first had surgery I got on the scale at least 3 times a day.  That was a little extreme and I finally stopped that and would just weigh myself every morning.  That was one of the many ways I would keep myself in check.  Once again, another thing I just let go in the long list of many in my journey.

After getting on the scale at the surgeon's office and seeing that number I realized I needed a new scale and pronto!  So, today while I was in Des Moines, I stopped by Bed, Bath and Beyond with my trusty 20% off coupon and decided to pick one out.  I didn't want to spend a lot of money on it because I'm holding out for a Fitbit Aria Scale, but found this scale for $19.99.  With my 20% off coupon, it was $16.  I love their coupons and I like a good deal, so it came home with me.

The New Addition To My #nomoreregain Journey

After I got home, I couldn't wait to hop on the scale and to see how much I weighed.  Crazy, right?!  It's amazing how something so small can make or break your day, but...my hard work over the last 10 days has paid off.  I'VE LOST 7 POUNDS!!!!  In 10 days!!!!  I can't believe it!  It's not a lot, but it's better than nothing!!!!  That 7 pounds is the motivation I needed to keep going.

That's a lot of butter!!!!

It's been a rough weekend for my diet.  Beers on Friday, a birthday celebration last night with eating out and wrapping up the birthday celebration today.  But I think I did okay.  Last night we ate dinner at an upscale diner that had comfort food.  Things like mac and cheese with bacon, chicken pot pie, a grilled cheese sandwich with short ribs.  Name it, the comfort food was on the menu.  I picked the meatloaf with garlic mashed potatoes and green bean casserole.  It was fabulous!  I ate 1 1/2 slices of the meatloaf, a couple bites of the mashed potatoes and a couple of green beans and I was done and stuffed.  I don't even know where to begin to calculate the calories, but look how amazing this was!

The plating was beautiful!

So, now you're all caught up on my weekend, my new purchase and my weight loss.  I weigh in on Wednesday at my surgeon's office and am hoping that maybe I can hit that 10 pound loss by then.  I'm going to have to push extra hard, but if I don't make it, I'm not going to get down on myself, 7 pounds is still pretty good!  I am proof that if you've gotten off track, you can get back on the wagon and if I can do it, so can you!  We can do this!  Team #nomoreregain...we've got this!

Until next time!

One Week Ago.....

Can you believe it's only been one week since I've been to my surgeon's office to get back on track? Me either!  A lot has happened in this last week.  My last soda was Tuesday on my way home from my surgeon's office.  My last Click protein shake was the Friday before that.  I'm down to 1 cup of coffee a day and I am eating more of my protein instead of drinking it.  I've been doing really well at staying between 1100-1200 calories, getting my water in and getting my steps in.  All of that in a week!  Whew!

And in true Katie fashion, I've started my cooking back up and trying new recipes.  Last week I tried 3 new things.  Breakfast Burritos (without the tortilla), Ground Turkey and Broccoli Egg Bake and last but not least (and my new obsession), Overnight Oats.  Have you guys tried these yet?  They are amazing!  You have to try them!  They are low in calories and high in protein so it's a win win for a breakfast!  And they keep me full for a very long time!  What more could I want?  Want to try them for yourself?  Here's the link.  There are so many different recipes out there too, check out Pinterest for even more recipes.  I want to try so many of them, I may have to make an Overnight Oats board!

Here are the 3 I made last week:

Chocolate with Strawberries and Bananas Overnight Oats

Peanut Butter and Jelly Overnight Oats

Strawberries and Bananas Overnight Oats

All 3 of these were amazing!  The peanut butter and jelly one was so rich and creamy, but it was too rich for me.  The recipe calls for 2 Tbsp of peanut butter, but when I make it again, I will only be using one.  Tonight I will be making Pumpkin Pie Protein Overnight Oats for breakfast tomorrow. I'm excited and a little nervous, this recipe calls for Greek yogurt and I haven't had one like that before. Fingers crossed that it turns out!  

This afternoon is going to be filled with laundry, dishes, cooking for the next 3 days and filling Scentsy orders and getting them ready for delivery.  I think I'll be busy enough to keep my mind entertained and not thinking about snacking, hopefully.  But, if I'm going to get anything done, I should probably wrap this up and get to it!  Have a great day everyone!!!

Until next time!

The Hardest Part Is Over

As many of you have read or heard, I decided to go back to my weight loss surgeon to get back on track.  I was all geared up and thought I was ready for the appointment, until Tuesday morning when it became a reality.  I was nervous, upset, excited, ashamed, basically a basket case of emotions.  

My surgeon's office is only about 45 minutes away, but it seemed like the longest ride of my life.  I did the "walk of shame" from the back of the parking lot, finally made it to the doors, took a deep breath, walked in and the most amazing thing happened.  There was zero judgement for not being there in 2 years.  Everyone one was excited to see me and welcomed me with open arms, for serious, with real open arms, my nurse that I've had now for 6 years came up and gave me a hug, telling me it was so nice to have me back.  That black cloud I felt had been hanging over me walking into the office vanished.  There was no yelling, no screaming and no harsh words.  My team knew how hard it was for me to come back and instead of nitpicking my failure, they were excited to get me back on track.  My nurse Tracy said it best after I got of the scale, "The hardest part is over, Katie. You're here now, you're taking the first step to get back on track and we're all happy to see you here and to help you."  

Just get started!!!!

After meeting with the Dr, I met with my new nutritionist (we will call her my Nut from here on out) and she too was just happy I was there and so willing to help me.  We only had 15 minutes (I go back August 10 for another appointment with her) but I fell like I have a handle on my weight loss journey again.  Going back to the basics of no drinking 30 minutes before a meal, during a meal or 30 minutes after meals.  1,000-1,200 calories a day.  Vitamins, protein shakes, healthy snacking, breaking up with my Diet Coke.  All of that in 15 minutes.  It was exactly what I needed to motivate me to get back on track.  I have a lot of work to do and a long road ahead of me, but I know I can do it!

So, in true Katie fashion, I jumped in head first Wednesday morning with 100% motivation and zero room for failing.  I cannot fail, I will not fail.  I cannot fail, I will not fail.  SAY IT WITH ME!!!!

Even though I have this new cannot fail mentality and did an awesome job at work the last 2 days (under 1,200 calories on both days, no AM snacking both days, no soda both days, over my step goal both days), this weekend has me very worried.  Now, don't get me wrong, I love my 3 day weekends.  LOVE THEM.  But doing so well the last 2 days that were so structured for me and now these next 3 days of no structure has me feeling a little uneasy.  I need a lot of good vibes sent my way that I don't fall off the wagon in the next 3 days.  So far today it's been okay.  I've been for my walk (I feel I got cheated on my steps, but I'll save that for another post), been to the grocery store and have hit the water hard.  No AM snacks and only my 1 cup of coffee.  But I'm struggling with what I'm going to have for dinner, which really shouldn't be a shock to anyone.  I have out chicken and broccoli, so I'm pretty sure that is what's on the menu.  I do have some strawberries to clean and 2 dozen ears of corn to take off the cob and freeze, so I should keep pretty busy.  I'm also going to try to make a crust less quiche with ground turkey, broccoli and cheese.  Wish me luck on the quiche...I've never made one and may never make one again!

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!  As you can tell, I have a lot going on in mine LOL  I would love to hear your plans, live vicariously thru you all!  Enjoy your time off!


Until next time!

Time To Shake Things Up!

Do you like what I did there?  Pretty clever, huh?  In getting back on track, I need to make a few changes to my daily routines and eating habits.  I'm sad to say that after 5 1/2 years together, for almost every day, I'm making a clean break from my Click protein breakfast shake.  We had a good run.  A very, VERY good run.  But as the title says, it's time to shake things up a bit.  So, this week I decided to order one of my old favorites.   This morning I picked up a new to me protein flavor, Fuzzy Navel by Syntrax single serve packet at Hy-Vee on the way into work.  My go to for a long time was Roadside Lemonade by Syntrax (which may or may not be on it's way to my house), but I couldn't find it in town so I have to wait.  But I didn't want to wait too long to change things up, because if I wait too long, I won't do it.  I know this about me.  

My Breakfast Today Plus A Banana

My thoughts on it?  Well, it's not coffee.  It doesn't have any caffeine.  And it didn't have any vodka (I swear that's water in that blender bottle) but for 24 grams of protein and 100 calories?  It was pretty darn tasty.  As tasty as my Roadside Lemonade?  No.  Will I get this again?  YES!  The only problem I had was that it took longer to mix in the bottle than I thought it would.  I had this along with a banana and saved about 100 calories.  Worth it?  You bet!

My Next Breakfast Adventure

Next on my agenda?  Actually eating my breakfast, not drinking it.  I'm wanting to try to make breakfast burritos (without the tortilla), portioning them out and freezing them so I always have something on hand to grab to take to work in the mornings.  Any of you have a kick-a** recipe you want to share?  Or a secret ingredient I NEED to have?  I have a very simple recipe in mind:  ground turkey, red and green peppers, an onion, eggs, cheese, salsa and taco seasoning.  Or I might mix it up with some ham or bacon depending on my mood when I make them.  Easy Peasy!  

I think at this point, I might have a handle on breakfast.  I have decided to break my meals down and work on them individually so it's not so overwhelming and perhaps easier to get back to the basics. I'm open to any suggestions or help anyone has to offer.  Any food journals, menu planners, recipes. Anything!  

Until next time!