Weight Loss Surgery and Personal Relationships

Let me start by saying these are simply my personal thoughts and feelings and that this isn't my usual happy go lucky post.  There's no study to back this, there aren't any stats to back up what I'm saying.  This is a personal observation made by me and me alone.  You may agree or disagree with me and that is okay.  Now that I've said that, let's get started!

I'm currently 2 years, 3 months post-op from weight loss surgery.  As many of you know, it's been one heck of a ride.  Emotionally, mentally and physically.  I've watched myself and my body change in ways I never dreamed were possible.  I've also watched my personality change...sometimes good, sometimes bad.  And the hormones...dear God, the swings!  Thank goodness those are over!  And I'm sure the general public is also glad those are done!

Along with all of the things above, I've watched many people walk into my life...and walk right back out.  Some came in when I was "fat" and were there for me thru everything.  EVERYTHING.  But when I got close to their size?  They bolted.  I've had that happen more than once.  These were people I had considered a close or best friend.  Someone I would share my ups and downs with.  I'm not very good at sharing things, so to talk to someone was huge.  And then when they would have nothing to do with me, I was always left wondering what I had done wrong.  It took losing 2 close friends to figure out that for once it wasn't me.  It was JEALOUSY.  And man, can it rear it's ugly head!

I had become a "threat" to them.  Because I had been overweight for more than half my life, people had gotten use to seeing me being bigger.  When the weight started coming off, people started noticing me more than my friends.  When I was close to their size and we were on "even" playing ground it became too much for them.  They were no longer in the lime light and I was, which was uncomfortable.  I still feel uncomfortable when that happens to me. 

Embracing who we have become is easier said than done.  As an overweight person, we are labeled by society as the "happy fat person", the one who is always cracking jokes and making people laugh, when deep down, we are hurting.  We are generalized as lazy slobs, who only eat, can't or don't take care of ourselves, but man, are we funny!  Have you ever noticed that?  Have you noticed how hard it is to shake that, even though some of us are a mere fraction of who we used to be?  How you can pass a mirror one minute and see a super skinny person looking back at us, but the next minute you see a slob of a mess?

A couple of months ago, I was told by someone VERY close to me that they were tired of hearing about how I used to be fat.  Really?!  YOU'RE tried of hearing about it?  The person that's never been overweight in your life?  Try living it!  Try breaking thru all the fat stereotypes!  Try being me, overweight for more than half my life!  Man...I was pi$$ed!  And hurt.  I never knew that being "fat" would have led to someone saying something that mean to me after all the hard work I've done.  Is this jealousy?  Is this spite?  What is it exactly?

Those are questions that will never be answered, but that's a statement that has led me to this post and of course one of my favorite sayings...GO POUND SAND!  Sometimes in life, we analyze and over analyze what people say to us and what people think about us.  There comes a point and a time where you either need to let it go, vent it out or ignore it.  People are mean, end of discussion.  People who have never been thru what we've gone thru will never understand how much a statement like can hurt.

What are your thoughts on this?  Have any of you lost a friend or a loved one because you simply took the extra steps and determination to get healthy and have a better lifestyle?  Do you think it's just as hard for them to go thru this with us?  Perhaps they needs some sort of an outlet?  A support group as well?  Does weight loss surgery also take a toll on them?  These are the things the surgeon never prepares you for or talks about.  Remember, our mental and emotional health is just as important as our physical health.  I would be interested in hearing your opinions on all of this.