Finally After 10 Days...

It's been no secret that I've been on my liquid diet for the past 10 days for surgery.  And finally today the scale moved down...not up!  I had gained a pound starting this darn diet and today I lost that pound plus another 4!  It's beginning to make the diet tolerable and now that I'm seeing results, I think I can really do this!  I didn't think this diet would get any easier, but for the last 2 days, it has been a breeze.  Now, maybe its because I've been at work all day, or maybe it's because my head and stomach are finally getting it.  But whatever it is, I'm pretty darn pumped, even if it is only 4 pounds. 

STRESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, the picture pretty much sums up how I feel tonight.  I'm stressed...to say the least.  Between the pre-op liquid diet, the pre-op physicals, work and things in my personal life I'm pretty much tapped out right now.  I thought by watching The Biggest Loser (dvr'd from Tuesday) it would calm me down and I could relax.  Sure, relaxing is fun if you like crying your way thru the whole show!  LOL  But, listening to their stories and seeing their pain really hit home.  It was then that I decided that I need to work on a few things before surgery October 5.



I had a grandmother that was beyond mean to me.  She would tell me I'd be cute if I wasn't so fat, things like that.  Those words have haunted me since I was 5 years old and to this day I can still remember what I was feeling and how she made me feel.  Those words have followed me into adulthood and it's time I let them go.  It's time for me to forgive my grandmother, no matter how much she hurt me or how mean she was to me.  

The other thing I need to change is my attitude.  It has changed a lot, don't get me wrong.  But I am fat!  No matter how you look at it, I'm fat.  I need to own that.  I did this to myself and have no one to blame but myself.  I need to accept these facts, move on and stop dwelling over it.  I'm doing something about it and I need to act like it!   Now, these 2 things are baby steps, there's no doubt about that, but by changing these things it makes me a better person, a more positive person and a happier person.  After all, this journey is about me and bettering myself...so why wait!  

Lazy Sunday

Today is the picture perfect fall day.  Rain, wind, cool temps and warm protein drinks.  Thanks to my friend Pam over at Journey to a Healthier Me I have been nice and warm drinking her Hot Chai Mix, Caramel Apple Protein Cider and Kristys Vanilla Caramel Protein Tea.  All 3 of these recipes are WONDERFUL!!!  Right now, I'm drinking her Hot Chai Mix, but instead of 8oz of water, I used 12 oz.  Not only does it taste wonderful, but it smells wonderful too!



And not only do I have a nice, warm drink in hand, but I have football on the TV (Go Bears!) and 2 wonderful puppies at my side.  Even though Quincy is about 5 years old, he acts just as young as Stella, 6 months old.  Those 2 are my babies and are spoiled rotten!  They don't know it yet, but when I start my liquid diet Tuesday, they start their diet too.  This whole house will be full of crankiness!  But you know the old saying, "Misery loves company" so we won't be alone. 



I made my last trip to the grocery store today to pick up the final items for my liquid diet.  As I wandered around looking at different items, it finally hit me.  I don't need this junk food anymore.  That my life had revolved around food for far to long and it's time it stopped.  It is stopping little by little.  I looked back to my night out last night and realized that the company last night was far more important than what was on my plate.  I was so worried about missing certain foods before we went out, but when it was time to order, I ended up with a side salad and chicken sandwich.  No fries, no pop...no alcohol.  I had a good time and it didn't matter what was in front of me except my good friends.  Somewhere along the way since I've started this journey, food has taken a backseat.  I don't know when it happened, but it did and I'm not going to argue about it. 



After walking the rest of the store, I looked in my cart and was proud of the items I picked up.  My sugar-free Jell-o, sugar free pudding and sugar free yogurt were sitting there waiting for me to push them across the checkout and it didn't matter that there wasn't a Snickers bar or a bottle of Pepsi in the cart coming home with me.  I can do this!  I will do this!  Last night reminded me that good friends are better than good food and good friends last longer! 

Celebrating Me, Food and Friends...

Well, tomorrow night is the night.  One last final night out before I start my liquid diet and have surgery.  I have the best friends ever!  They have planned a get together at my favorite restaurant with all of them to celebrate my surgery.  We're starting at 6pm at the Gigglin' Goat for dinner and then going out after that for a few drinks and hopefully a lot of fun and good laughs.  I know I've blogged about the Goat before and I can tell you, I'm going to miss that place for awhile. 



However, I do not plan on blowing all of the hard work I have done in the past months.  I do plan on having one of the Tex-Mex egg rolls (to die for!), their Philly Steak sandwich and maybe a drink or 2.  But that's it.  Now, I know it sounds really unhealthy and that's because, well, it is.  I'm not going to lie.  But I'm also not going to purge myself until I feel like I'm going to explode.  I'm going to have a good time, enjoy myself and celebrate ME! 

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do...

Why is it so hard to dump my relationship with Diet Coke?  We have been on and off for many months now, but lately we have been getting along really well.  It was kind of unexpected, but it was a welcome change.  Just a couple of months ago, I said goodbye to the caffeine drama and had an affair with water.  Any kind of water that came along...ice water, flavored water, carbonated water.  It didn't matter as long as it was water.  Then something happened.  I started missing my one and only true love.



Ever since then, we've been going strong, picking up where we left off.  It was like we had never been apart.  Well, love of my life, it is time for a clean break.  A break that will hurt and be painful, but it has to be done.  Starting tomorrow, I will no longer be involved with Diet Coke.  We are not good for each other, in fact, we are somewhat volatile together.  I'm sorry it has come to this, but it is something I must do...I will always love you!

Shopping For THE Liquid Diet...And a Baby Gate

Today was the day that I decided to go shopping for my liquid diet for my bypass surgery.  There are actually more things I can have than I ever thought I could, so I didn't think this experience would be too horrible bad.  WRONG!!!  We're having 2 huge town events going on right now in our town, so I decided to go to the college town that's about 20 mins away to find my things and to try to avoid all the people.



I started my journey out by hitting Super Walmart for all of my things.  It's Super Walmart, they should have everything, right?  Wrong, again.  Now, when I couldn't find the chewable sugar free kids vitamin I wanted, that should have been my first sign, but nonetheless, I continued to shop.  Up next...a Dust Buster.  Can you believe they only had 1 left.  ONE?!?  Are you kidding me?  You're Super Walmart!   But good for me, it's the one I wanted so I went on with my list.



I strolled my way over to the baby section (with the loudest cart the store owned, I swear) and went looking for a baby gate.   My puppy Stella (who is home and doing fine now) chewed her way thru one of the cheap wood/plastic ones so I wanted something just a little bit stronger.  $35.00 later and a metal gate in my cart, I make my way to the grocery section.  I found everything I needed on my list but 2 things.  Ground cloves and the sugar free creamer pictured above.  Okay, no big deal, I'll just check Target next door.  Run my happy butt thru the check out and head on over to Target for those 2 things



I get to Target, run in and they don't have either items.  No big deal, there's another grocery store near by, I'll check there...with no such luck.  No, problem, I'll come back home, and check the grocery store near my house.  Nope, they don't have it either.  Neither does our Walmart or our other grocery store.  Is there some big rush on this creamer that I know nothing about?  Or did word get out that I just wanted one container and someone is playing a cruel joke on me?  LOL  I did happen to find it on Amazon.com, in a 6-pack...I think that might be over kill.  I now have my mom on the hunt down in Iowa City at their stores for a container of the creamer.  Wish us luck!

Poor Stella...

This is my baby Stella, when I brought her home.  She's a pure white Chihuahua that weighed all of 1.5 pounds.  Well, now she's a big girl at 4.5 pounds and 6 months old and just got dropped off at the vet to be spayed.  Poor little girl was just shaking and whining when I handed her over...and the only dog there at the time so she was all alone.  My other chihuahua Quincy is now walking around, trying to find her and he is now whining.  At least I get to go pick her up tomorrow after noon.  I'm thinking I'm going to be there right at noon to get her.  On a lighter note...maybe this will calm her down some????

Salsa Aerobics and The Goat

I don't know what got into me yesterday, but my friend and I decided to take an aerobics class at the local YMCA.  It was a salsa aerobics class, which sounded fun at first...but after about the first 10 mintues I figured out the hard way that my body doesn't move like it should for certain moves.  Something about your body should look like an S-curve.  Really?  How do you get this huge body to look like an S-curve?  And then once you get it started, how do you get it to stop?!?  There was also supposed to be some hip action side to side or something, yet another move I couldn't do.  But in the end we had fun and Mexican for lunch.



So, after a fun filled morning of "dancing" it was off to a restaurant called the Gigglin' Goat.  Yep, we have a place in town called The Goat.  Surprisingly enough, it's not full of rednecks and square dancing, but a decent bar and grill.  We started out as good girls in the dining area, but quickly moved back to the bar where the drink specials were hard to beat.  A bucket of beer is just what I needed to wash down my Philly Steak sandwich.  All in all, it was a good night, with good friends, good food and good drinks.



Today is hopefully going to be a day of relaxing AFTER I clean up the Sunday paper my puppy decided to shred all over the first floor of my house.  She's a terror, but I wouldn't trade her for anything in the world.  Enjoy your day!!!!  *Kates*